PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
