turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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