absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
