I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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