Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
