He kissed a someone with a penis
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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