Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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