sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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