My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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