you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
