So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
