You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
