Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize