our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
