butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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