I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
