where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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