I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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