hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just threw up on my dentist
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
