I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
