I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
