i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
