I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
