Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
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