they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
