I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
as a side note pls kill me
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
