A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
