do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
