he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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