I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
