ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
