Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
