why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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