I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
