under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
