So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My breasts were aching with rage.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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