I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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