there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
