I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
