Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
