Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
