That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
