I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
