I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
