people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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