My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize