so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I have aggressive nipples.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
