Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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