When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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