i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
