I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
