Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
