I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
