My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
