Your tits are I can't wait for
I will die if light touches me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
