chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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