I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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