so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
