BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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