It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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