Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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