wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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