He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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