new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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