She's JV to your varsity
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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